Deep Red Love

Deep cuts and bloody scabs
Scattered amongst my body
While severe wounds and beatings
Sever my heart.
On the outside, I release it;
On the inside, I hold it in.
My razor kills the pain in the soul,
but increases that of which
one can see.
I get attention when I express my feelings
through the addiction,
Yet ignored when I cry out.
A stare, a glare, a shout, a smile.
""Demented,"" they say, ""madly insane,""
Only because they don't understand,
they don't know my pain. Helplessly unwanted.
When I was young, hurt terrified me.
As I got older--the anguish came in a terrible thrust.
Frightened as I was, I took it in.
Learned to accept it. Soon, I experienced it so much,
that it became a part of me.
Unencouraged to disagree, it takes over.
Ruling my decisions and helping me live.
All but one moment--it disappears.
I gaze into your eyes and reach out to you.
My touch brushes your face,
then you are gone.
Not by choice, but fault.

By: Rachelle Longe