La nuit noire (the black night)

12/23/93

Sitting here in darkness
This cold and solemn evening
Snow falls like tears that spill from my eyes
Making me shiver
Numbing my bones
Hardening my soul
Piercing it and letting it bleed red drops of blood
There is not a star to be seen
No moon
No light
No hope.
Just the two hands of this clock that ticks eternally
Spinning round and round with each day and
Night
Being bound by this shroud of black
This warm body floating in this cold sea
Pain and anger swimming around me
Preparing to devour me when I die
Now, I see nothing, for my eyes are shut.
Tight.
Usually open to all light, they now are closed to this misery that pounds upon this gate of mine
The sky is filled with grey clouds
Those solitary grey clouds
Those solitary grey feelings that everyone feels
No one knows about me
Everyone's asleep in their beds
While I'm out here
Maybe I can make a fire
They will see me
Flock to me
This fire, it will burn hot
Embers that will melt the snow
The icy rivers -- they will flow blue
Like those eyes I see in my head
The memory keeps me here
Thinking.
Thinking about me.
Those eyes.
That face burnt into my soul
It will never leave me
I can see it now,
Can it see me?
Lying here in vain, here on this rock
Maybe this stone has been here longer than me
Probably not.
Don't leave again
You leave like the snow in the spring
My body -- it aches from the cold
It aches from no sleep -- it aches from no love
Hoping that those eyes will find me
I am so faithful
Not letting go of this hand which holds me over a cliff
I will wait here until my blood rushes through my veins no more.
My eyes -- they are still shut
-and I will wait for you until my eyes won't be able to open.

By: Leana Clothier